I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
