So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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