i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
