Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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