dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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