Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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