you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
