you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
