You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
