ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
