I want to stick my p in your. b.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
