I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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