i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
