they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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