sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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