just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
