My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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