We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
