I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You're like the curious george of whores
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I love you. Go after that dick
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
