i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
