He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
