I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
