ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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