Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
