I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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