Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
