Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
