don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
