I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
