so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
