Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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