I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
