Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
