Little spoons don't ask big questions
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
