theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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