Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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