I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
