This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
