Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
