I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
