somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
