jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
