i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
