This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
