the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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