You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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