So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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