I'm eating all of the evidence.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
