We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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