I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize