quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
