Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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