Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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