I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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