I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
third nipple confirmed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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