my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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