guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
