bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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