I think my vagina is haunted
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
