Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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