you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
