You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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