Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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